I look like my dog
June 24th, 2007 by richWhat happens to a knife when you cut a mains cable
June 19th, 2007 by rich
It was an accident, a silly one but a good one. I survived with no shocks whatsoever - a miracle! The handle’s made of wood, but the blade goes through the handle and I was holding the whole thing tightly.
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The Silver Surfer Was Always Eco
June 18th, 2007 by rich
He really cared. He was really nutty. But I liked him.
He didn’t really like to get involved in fights
He was totally bald
He rode around outta space on a magic surfboard
He was just like me
No, he was. He was just like me ok.
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Got a pair of 3d glasses Left over from Jaws 3D? Then take a look at this…
June 18th, 2007 by rich
It’s by saucy French artist David Toudic - he does some fairly erotically charged paintings that come to life when you look at them with different colour gels- if you’ve got a pair of 3d glasses left over from when you saw JAWS 3D -hoick them out and take a look through one of the lenses to get the full unexpurgated , something-your-auntie-wouldn’t-want-to-see (or maybe would LOVE to see, if you’ve a naughty auntie) - version. If this was on eBay - you’d definitely want to have a good snipe at it in auction. In a gallery, you’re talking around £1700 or thereabouts - there’s more where that came from, and if you do buy the painting you get your own very special spectacles to view it with, or put in a drawer depending on who’s coming round.
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The Worlds Most Amazing Basketball Shot
June 13th, 2007 by JustinTEXT
June 4th, 2007 by richThe comedian Sarah Silverman exerts a kind of mesmeric control over an audience. She doesn’t laugh at her own jokes, and when she smiles it is deliberately inappropriate. The expression that lingers on her face is usually one of tentative confusion or of chipper self-satisfaction, as if she had finished her homework and cleaned up her room, and were waiting for a gold star. “I’m just sensitive,†she says onstage. “My skin is paper thin. People don’t realize it, because I’m sassy and I’m brassy, but I just— I see these care commercials with these little kids with the giant bellies and the flies, and these are one- and two-year-old babies, nine months pregnant, and it breaks my heart in two.â€As the audience reacts, she presses on. Read the rest of this entry »
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Has anyone SEEN THIS MAN?
June 4th, 2007 by rich
He was last spotted on Thursday. He has a very obvious problem with his carotid artery.
THIS IS NO ORDINARY MAN. THIS IS ARTERY MAN.His ARTERIES EVEN SHOW THROUGH HIS PANTS.
Artery man can apprehend offenders by showing them his entire circulatory system.
‘ARTERY MAN. HE WILL STOP YOU’ (catchline under repair please register www.arteryman.com for details)
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HOW TO TAKE A PULSE
June 4th, 2007 by rich
FIRST
GRAB THEIR HAND and hold it tight, don’t let it go under any circumstances.
LOOK into their eyes and think of potted shrimp or cucumber fun.
CONSIDER a number, between one and forty
DOUBLE IT
TAKE AWAY your dog’s age, and add three - for a cocktail crystal from the corner shop
GIVE YOUR ANSWER A CHANCE, by writing it on thin cigarette paper
HOMETIME - For mummy’s broth!
The answer is 12. This is normal. YOU are now qualified to take a pulse.
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Be a part of a global art project - post your ex!
June 4th, 2007 by rich
ExPostcards is a new arts project where members of the public are invited to make and anonymously send a postcard to a past relationship - only your ex doesn’t get it, the rest of the world does! The project aims to incorporate selected submitted artworks in an exhibition entitled ‘Prescription’ to be held either in Bath or London ‘08. Postcards will be uploaded to the site regularly and people will be able to register for news of new submissions posted. Check here for submission guidelines.
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NZ fishermen land colossal squid
May 29th, 2007 by rich
New Zealand fishermen have caught what is expected to be a world-record-breaking colossal squid.
Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said the squid, weighing an estimated 450kg (990lb),took two hours to land in Antarctic waters.
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